In the age of Trump, it seems as though we’ve slipped backwards in time. It’s once again assumed that if you’re a woman, you must be good at cooking, cleaning, and making men happy. Unfortunately for my hubby, I wasn’t blessed with the motivation to work on these domestic gifts. If it wasn’t for UberEats and the pre-made food section at Whole Foods, I’d probably have died well before I had the chance to get hitched. Luckily for me, my hubby is a feminist so he’s happy to cook, clean, make me smoothies, and still be my big strong, sexy (and breadwinning) man.
Society encourages young girls to turn on their Easy-Bake Ovens and dress up their American Girl dolls, all in preparation for a life of housekeeping and child-rearing. I may’ve gone down that path myself, if not for the time I burnt my hand trying to make a brownie.
Aside from Trump trying his best to drag us all back into the dark ages, as time passed, thoughts have slowly progressed about the roles of women in society. Bursting out of their kitchens, women broke into the business world and turned perspectives upside down. Breaking barriers that once seemed impossible for women to do, you’d think that most men would now have no choice but to see women as equals in the workplace, and soon, the home. But do they?
As women began to be taken more seriously, the myths and stereotypes about women have been consistently called into question. Gone, it seemed, were the archaic ideas that all women want is to get married and have children, as more and more women these days are satisfied with putting their careers first.
I don’t feel any shame about being bad at “women’s work,” and I’m not convinced there’s any reason I should be.
Buttttt, based on the fact that so many white women voted for Trump because their husbands wanted them to, it seems we still have a long way to go. So this seems like an opportune time to clarify a few things, in case Trump or any of his followers are reading this:
Myth: All women are good cooks.
Truth: This one is definitely not true — just ask my husband! In our home, my hubby does the cooking, but across America the task still typically falls to women. A survey by the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that on an average day, 83% of women do some sort of housework, compared to 65% of men. With respect to food preparation and clean-up specifically, only 40% of men, compared to 66% of women, take responsibility for it. So, it’s not so much that women are good cooks as it is they tend to get saddled with that task more, because of our still-sexist society.
Myth: All women are good at cleaning.
Truth: We all know the gender roles when it comes to cleanliness for boys and girls: boys are expected to be filthy while girls are expected to be prim. As for adults — how many times have you seen a man pushing a vacuum around a room or cleaning up after kids in a TV commercial? Exactly.
Wondering why a vacuum cleaner is still in the portrait of a standard housewife? One women’s magazine article said cleaning is a form of meditation. Another article said that women just have higher standards of cleanliness. They both go on to say that if a house is a mess, the woman living there is the one who’ll be judged, not the man. Yikes!
Myth: All women are all feminists.
Truth: I wish (!!), but clearly not — as IMHO a feminist wouldn’t vote for Trump. Not because Trump is a man who ran against a woman, but because Trump is a sexist pig who thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to sexually abuse and objectify women.
The definition of feminism comes down to the fact that women are equal to men and deserve every opportunity to prove it, not that feminists think men are scum (they don’t! that’s missing the point!). Feminists aren’t a different breed of person, they just demand the acknowledgement that anything a man can do, a woman can do.
I want a man to hold a door open for me, but I also want women to get promotions for their hard work, and not be judged based on how we look in a skirt. Empowering organizations such as Lean In aren’t trying to make women kick all men to the curb, but instead give them the tools to realize they can and should stand on their own two feet without feeling inferior to men in and outside of the workplace.
Myth: Women don’t enjoy sex as much as guys.
Truth: Just because I’m not running around trying to sleep with everyone that looks good doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy sex. Women are just a bit more reserved about it, or at least they tend to be. Maybe if we weren’t pressured to be a “sexy virgin” by society, we’d act more like men do. Plus, we don’t have sex just to make the other person feel good (unless we’re deep down the rabbit hole of self-objectification); it’s about us, too, and don’t you forget it.
Myth: All women love to shop.
Truth: Personally, I hate shopping. The minute I’m inside a mall or clothing store, I want to get out. That’s why I do all my shopping online.
But the sad truth is that women are pressured by society to shop because they’re held to higher standards than men regarding appearance. The fashion industry aims their advertising mostly at women, in an effort to create insecurities. And –amazingly– in Trump’s America it’s still hard to be taken seriously when you’re a young woman getting started in the business world …especially if you aren’t well dressed. When it comes to appearance, women are expected to be on top of their game at all times, while men are allowed to simply slide by. #SoNotFair
The Bottom Line
I don’t feel any shame about being bad at “women’s work,” and I’m not convinced there’s any reason I should be. Women have a lot more opportunities these days, but that’s not to say you’re any less of a modern woman if you fit this “traditional” mold. Feminism is about choice.
The fact of the matter is, women have other things to do in life besides cooking, cleaning, and giving birth. As times have changed, so has what’s expected of women. These days, women are able to juggle all of that and more while still being happy. Some are stuck in the past, but progressive women all over the world are changing how women are perceived and refuse to be held to old-timey standards.
When I was younger my mom would always tell me I should learn to cook. Her reason was that once she’s gone, who else would cook for me. She never said anything about not being able to cook for my family when I had to. Cooking or cleaning isn’t supposed to be related to gender roles because it’s something you’re required to do in life. You know?
I remember dating a guy who wanted to live the rest of his life with me. I’ve adored him for reasons I don’t understand now, but his family wanted me to stay at home and be a housewife. He also wanted me to do the same. It was very unusual for a modern family to still think that women can be kept at home and just rear a child. Of course as mothers that’s what we would love– to spend hours taking care of our children and making sure that they grow up to be good adults. But the thing is, I was an empowered woman who knew that aside from bearing a child and being able to take care of them, I knew I needed to have a career that can support my family. Of course my husband can work too and support us, but I wanted to be able to do something that’s more than just staying at home. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that and unless my husband is earning millions, it’s a practical decision to have both man and woman working. Well, in the end I never married that man.
Wow, that’s insane. I’m sorry but I’m glad you didn’t marry him. That kind of man would try to get in the way of you achieving so many things in life.
When parenting goes wrong, it’s blamed on the woman. Mainly because women are the ones who are supposed to take care of the child. But we never blame absent fathers for such issues. Isn’t it unfair? Men getaway with almost anything but women are to be blamed with a lot of things. As simple as women needing to always look presentable while for men it’s fine to not shave and women should be hairless? It’s such a crazy standard that makes no sense. Whoever made these rules or standards is insane.
Trump doesn’t even seem to respect his wife. What more other women? He’s such an objectifying idiot.?
If all women are feminists then we wouldn’t be feeling betrayed by other women who disagree with equality. There wouldn’t even be issues on women putting down women. These are really myths that aren’t even supposed to be thought of as a fact.
I also don’t understand how men can getaway with wearing the same pair of jeans for a week or two, yet women are judged when they wear something twice in a row. It’s petty but other people make it such a big deal.
The main difference of the new age and old age is that now, women have choices they can make. Unlike before, their decisions are influenced by something else. Such as society or circumstances that can’t be changed. These choices are now respected by about 50% of the society and that’s better than nothing.
I suck at cooking. I can’t even fry anything. I’m not ashamed of it because I can be good at something else like cleaning the house or organizing things. I don’t feel ashamed for being a woman who can’t cook.?
There isn’t anything wrong about being a woman that can’t cook. But the thing is, we’re all taught to be independent. And being independent means being able to povide for yourself and fend for yourself. You can’t live with take-out orders and deliveries all your life? You should at least be able to come up with a few basic things so you can eat. It’s not even about cooking for your husband. It’s about you being able to do everything on your own when the time comes that you’re no longer under the roof of your parents. People just create gender-roles to exaggerate things. When in fact, cooking, cleaning and everything else are basic things that you need in life in order to survive. It’s not even about being ashamed of not being able to do it. It’s a matter of what are you going to do when you can’t even do all these? Wait until someone else comes along to do it for you? It baffles me.
I understand your point. It’s true though that it’s not about just being a woman or a man who can’t cook. It’s about what you’re going to do when there isn’t anyone else to do it for you.
We’ve been living with these gender-roles for quite sometime now. And I must say it’s very hard to get rid of because we’ve grown accustomed to it for so many years.