When I caught my last boyfriend cheating on me (with a Hooters waitress, no less!), I was crushed. How could he do this? Doesn’t he value my feelings more than a tawdry fling with some tramp? Clearly not. What a dolt. Anyhow, I soon learned that there’s no sense trying to make sense of crazy. Let crazy be crazy and stay far, far away.
I didn’t come to that conclusion quickly though. After that breakup, I stayed indoors for way too long wondering about my own worth in the eyes of men. What a waste of time. Now, I know that enduring a breakup or divorce can obviously be an incredibly emotional and exasperating time. Whether you’ve parted with a partner of several years or several months, it’s likely you’ve been feeling blue and rather uninspired.
Though it can hard to accept that one chapter of your life has come to a close, remember that new and exciting times await you. Take control of your story and reinvent yourself post-breakup by revisiting an old hobby, signing up for a language class, or exploring an extreme sport. Whatever your interests, get out there and celebrate them.
To help embrace your newfound freedom, he’s a list of activities that helped me get back out there and seize the day:
Embrace Your Inner Wanderlust
Now that you have the opportunity to create your own itinerary, it’s time you embrace your inner wanderlust. Whether you plan to travel solo, or you’ve corralled the ladies for an adventurous road trip. Whip out that travel bucket list you’ve been neglecting and get ready to start crossing off some destinations. Another way to see the sites while also saving money is to embark on a solo cruise. The coordinated stops of cruise lines offer a wide variety of ambiances and experiences — from exploration to romance, rest and relaxation. Ask yourself what you’re hoping to achieve by traveling, be it enrichment, education or just simply adventure.
Foster Your Friendships
Beat the loneliness and fill that hole you feel by spending time with your best friends. There are plenty of scientific studies showing that being around close friends not only makes people happy, but is the key to living a long and healthy life. And who better than your bestie to tell you that he wasn’t worth your time in the first place? Deep down you always knew you were too good for him — why not surround yourself with others who agree with you?
Nature’s Healing Powers
There’s no time like the present to take up an outdoor hobby. Take advantage of the natural healing properties of gardening, which can lower depression and improve mood and balance. If you’re looking for something with a bit more punch, learn about your local water sports. Paddle boarding, kayaking, and jet skiing are all exciting ways to embrace the outdoors. If you’d rather stick to land, map out some of your city’s popular hiking trails. Not only does this activity offer fresh air and scenic views, it also inspires heart-pumping exercise and increases your body’s production of endorphins, the feel good chemical. You could also try checking out some exercise-related meetups or local events.
Become a Foster Mom
If you’re feeling lonely and in need of a loving companion, get involved with your local animal shelter and become a foster mom. All over the country, thousands of dogs and cats are desperate for homes and affection. Give back to your community and make a difference by taking in a temporary pet. You’ll appreciate the distraction from your worries and you’ll feel good knowing you’re helping an otherwise homeless, lonely pet. Who knows, your temporary arrangement could prove to be a lasting friendship!
Find Your Center
Sometimes what you really need after a breakup is some quiet time to heal and regroup. Perhaps now is your chance to explore an alternative career trajectory, or consider relocating to a new part of town or even a new state. Use this time to pinpoint all the things you want out of life, and then create a game plan.
Another way to get centered is to take up yoga and master the art of meditation. Not only can meditation help to you to get happy again, but both yoga and meditation help to manage stress and weight gain. Sounds like a win-win to me!
This time shouldn’t just be about learning to move on from your ex, it should be about learning how friggin awesome you are.
Best tip that I can give is to clean up your music file. Rediscover some new music, and fill your I-pod with new favorites that inspire you. Because music, like scent, holds memories and can spark emotion immediately.
There are many things you can do to stay happy after a breakup. First have a good cry or few, talk with supportive friends, write in a journal or pray to your maker.
Find healthy outlets where you can safely express your emotions.
Sometimes all we can do is trust. Trust that time heals all wounds, true love cannot be destroyed, and there is no way you’ll spend your life alone if you don’t want to.
Just another piece of advice if you want to be happy and healthy after a breakup: don’t go to places you went together coz doing this will just leave you feeling sad and lonely. Trust me.
I guess the key to emotional freedom during rough times is found in setting the tone for the day by giving your brain something positive to work with.
Yes, it’s mind over matter. ?
I’ve been in a 7 year relationship, and it kept me from doing some of the things I used to love doing. Mingling with friends from the opposite sex became limited, I could not travel to far places alone for soul-searching and I couldn’t make major decisions without my partner’s approval. Now that I’m single, I’ll take this as an opportunity to enjoy life freely.
Think that you deserve better. If you’re breakuo was because of a third party, think of this as a chance for you to be free from someone who doesn’t see your real worth.
Breakups not only take up most of our head space, they eat up our energy too. Take a break from drinking. Stay away from anti-depressants, you may think you need this to have a good time but really it’ll only make things worse. Don’t be afraid of getting help. Talking to someone can be a great way to let go of some built-up emotions. Remember that you’re not alone. Don’t be afraid to ask for a shoulder to cry on.
Think of 10 things you’re grateful for in life before your feet even hit the ground when you wake in the morning. Cry your eyes out if you feel like it. Crying can actually be therapeutic when you’re upset. It can reduce feeling of stress, anxiety and anger. So go ahead, grab some tissues, and wail your heart out if it helps.
Personally, I think the love you shared doesn’t have to go away when you end something that’s not working, but the drama and trauma of a mismatched relationship does… and that’s the good news.
Right. Point taken bec after all you can never really unlove someone, you can just love them in a different way.