While we all know that weddings can easily end up being a huge, stressful production, not many people think it’s under their control. Well I’m here to tell you that it is.
When I started thinking about my wedding, my first thought was “What parts of this are actually going to be fun for everyone involved?” and “What parts of a typical wedding are simply just a headache?” The more I thought about it, nobody actually wants (or has time!) to be a bridesmaid or groomsman. Nobody really wants to write speeches or attend a rehearsal dinner. And, certainly, nobody wants to deal with bridal showers.
This is what I learned from my wedding, and how I made it easy breezy and stress-free:
1. Skip the rehearsal dinner.
Everyone will be happier if you decide not to do a rehearsal dinner. They’re super expensive, they require people to stay overnight near you, and they are often embarrassing (do you really want to give your Aunt Hilda a microphone??) Skip it. One meal per wedding is more than enough!
2. Skip the showers.
None of your friends actually want to go, nevermind organize. Hang with the group at the Bachelor or Bachelorette party instead.
3. Don’t have bridesmaids or groomsmen.
Yes, you heard right. None of your friends want this responsibility, and it adds a LOT to the workload and cost (all that organizing… all those extra dresses and personalities to deal with — yikes!) What my husband and I did was have our parents stand with us at the front during our ceremony. We all gave 5-minute speeches and then the officiant did her thing and married us. The feedback we got was that was much more personal and touching this way.
4. Cut out the religious parts.
If you’re not particularly religious, you can tell the priest or officiant to cut all the pre-scripted religious text from the ceremony. Instead, pick prose that means something special to you. This will make your ceremony more personal and a lot less boring for your guests.
5. Use silk flowers.
They cost roughly the same, but you can keep them in your house after, as a gorgeous reminder of your special day. Not to mention that you’ll have less garbage after, and they’re much lighter and less accident-prone than a vase with water. I recommend Jane Seymour Botanicals because they are simply stunning and look 100% real.
6. Ask your videographer to interview your guests.
This is actually something I wish we’d done. Have your wedding videographer ask your guests what they love most about you as a couple. You can give your videographer photos of the friends you want in the edited version of your final wedding video (which is usually only 10 minutes or so), but tell him/her that you want the full video footage as well, so you can see all the bloopers!
7. Have an afternoon wedding.
This saves a lot of planning, expense and time. Having an afternoon wedding not only lends itself to better photos (no blurry, flash or underexposed night shots!), but gets rid of lighting costs and dramatically decreases the number of waiters needed. It further saves cost by limiting the amount of wasted food (if you go buffet-style), the type of food (nobody expects filet mignon at lunch) and booze (alcohol is super pricey) consumed.
We had unassigned seating, a buffet-style brunch with a live band, and hors d’oeuvres passed around. Nobody got drunk and people loved that they could sit anywhere – or not sit at all. The best part? Because people didn’t drink much, we had enough champagne and wine left over to last for years!
8. Get a ring with lots of sparkle.
My engagement ring has more sparkle than any solitaire, and is more unique, but cost a fraction of the price. Lots of smaller diamonds = more sparkle for less $$. Or better yet, buck tradition completely and opt for another type of stone.
9. Pick the last name that’s better.
In other parts of the world it’s tradition for the man to take the woman’s name. In Europe and America, more and more men are bucking tradition and taking the woman’s last name – mine did! Sexist traditions belong in the past. Choose which one sounds better and is easier to spell.
10. Make it fun.
We added fun things for our guests to do, like massage chairs, a magician and a photo booth (or just someone with a camera and instant printer, set up in a scenic spot) with silly costumes. Our guests were talking about it for a full year after!
Wow, doing all of this in my wedding for sure. I want my wedding to be like a breeze and less stressful.
I really like the idea of fake flowers instead of real ones. I also think that for decorations for the aisle, fake flowers would be better.
I would still prefer the traditional wedding. I want that day to be special.
Weddings usually take about 3-4 hours depending on the program after the ceremony. If there’s anything that you need to shorten, it’s that reception after. Get rid of the usual bouquet throwing and all that stuff. Have a fun program that’s fun for all and less time consuming.
I’m Catholic so I kind of feel like it’s a little disrespectful to tell the priest to skip the religious part. I know it’s boring for most people but I think religion is something that a lot of people have learned to respect regardless of the fact that they’re religious or not. Let’s face it. Weddings are ceremonies for a reason. You only get married once and even if it’s very stressful to prepare, those are an hour or two of your life that you can never get back. Savor every minute of it!
I kind of want to agree with this one. It’s a once in a lifetime thing. Let the bride and groom have their moment.
What are your ideas with unconventional themes and colors for weddings? I’ve seen brides that wore black gowns!
I’m planning on keeping the bridesmaids part. My friends think it’s an honor to be part of that important day. They told me that they don’t mind going through all that stuff for me.?
Now that you’ve mentioned it, silk flowers are interesting. They look so real but can last forever.
#9 isn’t an option from where I live. So I had no choice but to adapt my husband’s last name. I would have love to keep mine.
Aww, that sucks. Eitherway, just enjoy being married. It’s just a name anyway!
My friend is getting married soon but she still wants bridesmaids. For so many years, that’s how weddings work and while it can be a pain to go for fitting or to get your own gown that’s on theme with the wedding, weddings are very special for the bride. It’s not like I’m going to go and complain to her that I don’t want to be a bridesmaid because it’s such a hassle. I think that for the rest of the people who are invited to the wedding, they also know that this is a special day for the people involved so it’s bearable.