The power of a fantasy is amazing. Yet few couples ever indulge in each others fantasies. Some feel that fantasies are private issues that shouldn’t be exposed. Others are just too embarrassed to fully release their fantasies to anyone. Others are scared they won’t be able to fulfill them, so they’d rather not open pandora’s box.
In an open and healthy relationship, fantasies can provide the much needed escape from reality. Openly sharing these inner secrets with your partner unlocks hidden desires that will benefit both partners. It is always better to know the secret sexual desires of your partner than it is for him (or her!) to keep them locked inside. Awareness is power.
Do you know exactly what your lovers sexual fantasies are? Most women think they do. At the same time, most can’t describe the fantasy in detail. Remember: detail is a major key to fantasies. When your partner is visualizing his (or her!) ultimate sexual encounter, he is very detailed about how things are developing. How his mind formats the fantasy is of extreme importance. Knowing that his innermost secret desire is a threesome is not enough. Details are what arouse and bring out emotions.
The million dollar question now is, how do you get the juicy details of your lover’s wildest fantasy?
First and foremost, realize that he (or she) may be apprehensive about detailing his secrets to you. Your first order of business is to set him at ease. His first concern is that you may find his fantasy upsetting. Assure him that breaking down this barrier will benefit your relationship in many ways. Opening up to each other is healthy and will help build a solid, unified relationship.
Once you’ve assured him that he can confide in you, the next step is to use effective questions. To get him talking about his fantasy, ask questions that bring out details. How does it begin? Where is it happening? What acts or positions are going on? What about the fantasy excites him? When does he climax? You can also enhance the details by adding your own comments. Excite him with your participation.
A great time to bring out these conversations is at night, while laying in bed. Done correctly, this can be a personal romantic time that will flame the fires of passion. This should be an enjoyable experience for both of you. Be playful. Let your mind go and indulge in the moment. You now have the power to unleash the tiger in him (or her). Enjoy!
This will test the honesty in both of you as well. It can also instill trust.
Things would get crazy in bed if both of my hubby turned all our fantasies into life. We like to keep it simple and easy.
If you trust your significant other enough, it would be easy for you both to talk about this. Consider that thought.?
Personally, being playful is actually really fun for men even in bed. A little giggling here and there and smiling while both of you are getting it on is sexy. Men like it when it seems like you’re enjoying every bit of it. Sometimes having serious sex isn’t fun at all. Switching up your game is sometimes fun too. Never be complacent in what you do. Your partner will appreciate that and who knows, maybe he might do it for you as well. Relationships should be give and take right?
This is a nice thought!
I don’t think I could ever open up about something as personal like that.
I love being open about my desires as a woman but not all men think it’s normal. I have dated men who were confused on what I actually meant by sharing it with them. I think it made them feel like I was insisting on doing these things and they feared not being able to reach the standards. I never put standards though I just voice out my thoughts.
Men’s fantasies can become unrealistic sometimes. I’ve been with men who are so extreme that it scared the hell out of me. I’m just glad that I’m with someone right now that respects boundaries despite our frequent experimentations in our sex life. I just want to comment on how men should also keep their expectations at a decent level because not everyone can keep up. I’m happy for those who can keep up with men who are like that, but don’t be too harsh on those who can’t.
Don’t let your man watch too much porn. That’s what causes it most of the time. Because where else would they see it?
Some men in relationships are sexually demanding. While it’s fine at first, when you’ve been together for so long it just gets a little exhausting.
Increasing the desire of your partner is actually hard to sustain. Imagine trying to come up with different tricks every week or every day just to keep it all going…!!
You’re right. Maybe you don’t always have to switch it up too often?
Men simply like the idea that you’re curious about what they want. It makes them feel valued. Men aren’t complex creatures and they sometimes just want to feel appreciated in a relationship. So as simple as having a discussion with them about what they desire already makes them feel like you value them a lot. I do think it’s the same for women as well. Being asked about what we prefer makes us feel like our opinions matter. It’s a vital part of any relationship. Learn to use it properly.